Welcome to my latest lockdown log, which includes, from me, an in-depth analysis of recent Welsh Government announcements and guidance, as well as a synopsis of hospitality trends from Visit Wales. From Sandra we have some village gossip and finally an update on Chris’s mental and physical state of health (what Sandra calls the organ recital).
Since my last report at the end of May, I am pleased to confirm a further drop in crime here at Tir y Coed. Apart from one incidence of trespass by a couple of likely lambs – up to no good (minor ceanothus damage and general bleating), unsociable squirrel activity (damage to wicker garden seat), golden retriever misdemeanour (exceeding permitted number of daily walks) and a couple of unauthorised partridge landings, there has been nothing of note to report.
I was pleased to receive a letter which included a recipe for dog biscuits and a lovely cutter. I am looking forward to trying the results once the chef returns to work. It is particularly gratifying when one is recognised for one’s efforts, making the village a safer place in these disturbingly unprecedented times. It also makes a change from council tax demands and companies trying to sell us PPE.
I need a PA
I have also been overseeing the various garden projects. Against my wishes, my staff have cleared away years of fallen trees and debris that I liked to hide under and the old kitchen garden has been restored. Something called a greenhouse has been discussed; personally, I don’t like green as a colour and we already have enough houses. Maybe this one is for me – they will need to paint it a different shade if they expect me to live there, Ruby red obviously. They could call it the doghouse and forget this greenhouse nonsense.
Not there Silly…
During the lockdown, my role as Head of Security and Marketing continues to expand. I don’t think Chris and Sandra fully understand what’s happening, so after watching a televised briefing, I have become more involved with marketing. I think that being from Ynys Môn (Anglesey if you must) my local knowledge and connections with the ancient Druids may prove more helpful than the official guidance. So now that the lockdown is at last slowly being lifted and we are looking forward to welcoming people back to Snowdonia, I have put my thinking cap on.
Hmm… What would the Druids do?
Because we need to be careful to check that it is safe for people we were going to have to adapt to new procedures like the new track and trace regime. We must also plan and anticipate new rules; things move fast with Covid 19. This means that we will be asking you for some personal information, most of this can be completed electronically before you arrive.
As we live in a mythical kingdom of dragons, we thought it only right to ensure that people are correctly risk – assessed on an astrological basis; it’s well known in the scientific community that Aquarians, Geminis and Librans are the most likely to contract any virus, whilst Taurus, Virgo and Capricorns are hardy folk, so much less likely to suffer. Please rest assured that if you are asked, it is simply to ensure we are complying with all the rules even before they are introduced. We have taken advice from the Druids on PPE and undertaken a comprehensive aura re-alignment programme so that we are fully prepared.
I have a reservation for one knight…
Social distancing is the new watch-word; this means two metres, or one metre, or one metre plus. It all depends on which Druid you ask, whether before or after lunch and how much mead is involved. As far as we are concerned, you tell us what you’re comfortable with and we’ll work with it.
Now that’s what I call social distancing…
No more five-mile travel limit…
Siabod’s this way…
So as for now, we will be operating on a whole house, exclusive group booking basis. In the main house we have capacity for groups of 12 in seven bedrooms, all ensuite. We will tailor make a package to suit you, food or not, as you wish. Your group – your rules.
We felt that following the guidance for hotels would have made the house feel a little like an obstacle course, and that people may have been concerned if there were others that they didn’t know in the same building. It is against this background that we decided, not to operate as a hotel for now; the ‘new normal’ is not what we want and it’s not the experience we wish for our guests. People visit us to recharge their batteries, to wind down and escape from the hustle and bustle of the modern world. We do not wish to turn the place into a hazard warning zone, with keep out signs, Perspex screens, myriad rules and regulations and no interaction.
We have carried out a full Covid 19 audit to ensure we are ‘Good to Go’. We always take health and hygiene seriously and have increased our cleaning regimes to ensure that the building is a safe place to be. We have supplies of hand sanitiser at the entrance to the building and we have enough space for everybody to spread out.
No more keys – much too dangerous!
The world after lockdown may not look the same, but we are determined that your experience with us will feel as close to the old normal as possible. The pubs may not be operating at full capacity, but we have a licenced bar here, so you and your group can have your own pub (with a very select group of fellow revellers). There is no need to book and you can prop up the bar to your heart’s content.
We are happy to offer bespoke packages to include food – just give us a call!