Welcome to my lockdown log, the latest news from Rowen, with updates on what my staff, or as they prefer to call themselves, owners (Sandra and Chris) have been up to lately.
These are brilliant times to be a dog; I am living the greatest life – getting walked, made a fuss of, allowed to stay up late and watch my favourite movies on Netflix. However, I have to say that I am becoming slightly bored, as there aren’t any guests, who normally make more of a fuss of me than my staff, who still expect me to fulfil my duties as head of security, even though I have been furloughed (whatever that is). Only a few people are walking around in the village and the hotel; apart from the occasional horse or tractor there is hardly any passing traffic, so not much to bark at. I can report that our crime rates here continue to be low, although the problem of squirrels stealing bird food remains an issue.
We have re-decorated the house, and now have a very smart new roof, which my staff are immensely proud of. The winter was great fun; I was extremely busy and made friends with the builders, plumbers and painters, who always had great packed lunches, which of course they were happy to ‘share’ with me.
Sandra and Chris are still terribly busy and Sandra spends most of the time in the garden; I like to help by digging up the treats they hide in the ground, which for some reason makes Sandra cross – she says they have to stay there as they will turn into flowers – we’ll see about that! They are also talking about growing vegetables, which doesn’t seem like a very good idea; sausages would be a much better option from my point of view.
I am worried that my groomer appears to have been sacked and instead Sandra has been giving me a trim; can’t think why this is happening, but her groomer has been sacked too. Maybe they’ve both been furloughed.
I am still working like a dog and expected to attend board meetings – these used to take part on the beach, but we are no longer allowed to visit as Sandra said the police might arrest us if we stop walking. I am getting worried about her mental state; I mean – arrested for sitting on the beach? So, our meetings now take place in the garden, where Sandra talks a lot about social distancing and how much space we have for people to spread out. I have had to take on the marketing, as no one else here has a clue about social media; they have never heard of Tik Tok and think vlogging is something to do when a tree blows down. At least they know what Twitter is, even if they have never used it.
I have noticed that once a week Sandra goes out delivering food to people in the village and I get left at home. I think she may be thinking of a new career as a delivery driver. Personally, I think this is a rubbish idea and I hope she soon gets over herself.
Other than social distancing, my staff talk a lot about zoom, exiting and R factors. I’m not sure who or what these are, but I guess they are connected to Brexit, who I think is one of the village sheepdogs. I don’t hear about him at all now – he’s obviously been furloughed. I am really looking forward to seeing you all soon – the weather is lovely and frankly I am getting a bit bored with the lack of stimulating company.
Lots of love from Ruby.
Head of Security & Marketing. XXX