Ruby’s Lockdown Log: Spring 2023

Hello and welcome to my latest blog, which I am supposed to say I’m pleased to have written so soon after the last one (which was only finished just before Christmas). This isn’t strictly accurate; my contract of employment clearly states that I have to write one blog per year, and as the last one was only finished in November, as far as I’m concerned, I should have been given a break from writing duties until at least after the upcoming summer.  But apparently it doesn’t work like that; it’s every calendar year, whatever that means.  So, I have been working like a dog, and there’s lots of new stuff I must tell you about, as well, so all I can say is don’t expect another blog for at least a year. It’s not that I am a glass ‘totally’ empty sort of dog but why haven’t I been included in the tastings for the new wine list? Things just don’t seem to be getting any easier. Anyway…..  lots of interesting things have been happening here. As usual, once we said goodbye to our last guests, the place was been taken over by my best friends, a small army of painters, decorators, plasterers, plumbers, and some electric people (although they still drank tea and ate biscuits). We have had lots of new arrivals, many of them twins. We have a new energy efficient boiler and a pair of very smart, very big hot water tanks, which apparently are more energy efficient, another pair of energy efficient Japanese smart toilets for Rooms One and Six and a pair of very large sparkly lights for the newly refurbished dining room and drawing room. It took a lot of people to hang them up, so I don’t think they are particularly energy efficient. I was told that someone called Del would be coming to help fit these lights, but I have no idea who he is or why he didn’t show up. And then there was the mysterious Sandra Lear, who everyone seemed to talk about and how she weighed almost 80 kilos. I really did think everyone had gone mad, but then I found out that they’d decided to call all the new lights Sandra Lear. Now I think about it, that’s pretty peculiar, but then I’m used to that.  A few years ago, I would have worried if my staff started giving the lights a name, especially if it was the same one, and I might have wondered why we needed more Sandras anyway.  But no longer; I have just given up trying to understand them, to be honest.

More bedrooms have been redecorated although I’m not allowed upstairs, so I don’t know much about that. There are new lights everywhere up there too, and apparently, they’re energy efficient as well, as almost everything else seems to be. I’m not sure the same thing could be said about my staff, who seem to spend most of their time complaining about bad backs, sore knees and somewhere called Tenerife which is, apparently, a place that painters, decorators, plasterers, plumbers, and electric people go to after they’ve spent a few weeks working here.

Tenerife does seem to have something to do with canaries, and you have to go to Liverpool and visit John Lennon if you want to get there. I don’t really know much more than that.  I have been to Liverpool, but there were no canaries when we went and it was very noisy.  Anyway, I prefer to go and see the owls at their sanctuary in Llandudno, although I am a bit scared of  Wilhelmina, the Eagle owl that we’ve adopted. It’s just the way she looks at me and licks her lips… probably nothing, but do I wish she’d go and play with Woodii, who is much less scary. What’s the point in adopting a pair of owls if they dont play quietley together?

Finally, I am very happy to announce the opening of our new holistic therapies treatment centre, Room 8, which I like to think was as a result of my own input.  Room 8 will be run by Sarah, who had a similar, very successful operation in St Ives in Cornwall before the lockdowns started. My original plan that we used Room 8 as a canine wellness retreat, with luxury sausage rolls and bacon sandwiches, was not taken up; I don’t know what a poodle parlour is or why everyone thought it was funny, but what I can say is that now that Room 8 is ready it looks pretty cool, and the smells are amazing.  I can certainly say that I am looking forward to having my first spa treatment soon;  I imagine that the invite is on its way.

That’s all my news; I am pleased to report that we just about completed the refurbishment work in the nick of time and the house was sparkling by the time Easter arrived (although we didn’t finish the wine list). I am looking forward to the summer and returning to normal (whatever that is). I hope to be mostly at the beach, enjoying a well earned break. I am really looking forward to welcoming you to Snowdonia and having some normal people around at last. Lots of love from Ruby xx


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